Mid Life Crisis & Happiness - 2

(to be read after the previous post) 

I've reached a point in life where I realize that the past cannot be remedied. The solution then is to straighten out the present and plan for the future.

Where do I start? Obviously, I need to take stock of my present situation. Knowing myself throughly will allow me to plan my future to accommodate my eccentricities.

Yes I'm eccentric, if you call 'commitment' as eccentricity, if you call the 'ability to love someone unconditionally' as eccentricity and above all if you call 'honesty' an eccentricity.

I have discovered that these characterestics make me unpopular and sometimes annoying to family and friends, but what the hell. This is the real me. Take it or leave it.

Then how does mid life crisis fit into this? Perhaps I've been taking life for granted for too long. Settling into a rut.....waking up at 6.00 AM and going through life mechanically perhaps  dulled my senses and blunted my sensitivity to my surroundings. I thought I was a caring child to my elders, doting parent to children and a loving spouse. I failed to realize that needs change with time, children grow older and parents age and become burden.

One fine day life turns topsy-turvy. A healthy elder fell sick, having to be helped with every little thing from eating, bathing, changing clothes, cleaning up after toilet......everything. Problem was compounded when demetia worsened. Every day is a fight to keep her happy & in good health though I realize it will be downhill from here.

The spouse feels that there is no independance here and decided to find a new route in life. Single parenting is a whole new experience and I'm loving it. Takes a little getting used to childhood tantrums but it is fun.

This is  the time in life that can make you or break you. Losing an emotional support (spouse) and having to handle a rigid and unreasonable elder & taking care of a child alone can take it's toll unless you find support.
What happens when you reach cross roads in your profession simultaneously.?

Now I'm on the threshold of expanding in the profession I'm in but my spouse decided to pack up. Suddenly I feel like Atlas, burdened with the world on my shoulder and very weary.

I confess; there have been moments I've thought of giving up everything and disappearing somewhere but as I mentioned earlier I'm too honest, committed  and unconditional. I'd die of guilt if I gave up on people I love.

So I made up my mind to go ahead and move on. I'll tell that story in stages.......

.......and you, my reader, will come along with me on this Journey in Pursuit of Happiness.

Feel free to comment and guide me if you feel I'm going in the wrong direction. After all GPS isn't always perfect ;-)

Medicine for Happiness?

Is there a medicine to bring back Happiness? I know it's funny question but there are people in this world who think that way.

When I suddenly lost my Best Friend to circumstances beyond our control, I broke down. Suddenly the world was empty and cruel. Everything I saw with my myopic eyes were ranged against me. I went into a shell because I felt that a part of me had been hacked away with a butcher's knife.

I was down. Cursing Gods, pleading with them and crying out aloud. It was just that I had no one to turn to. My only friend was lost to me and another had her own problems to handle. This second friend made a comment that I was going into Depression and that jolted me.

I wasn't going into Depression. She was wrong. I was just suffering the pangs of being separated from a friend I truly loved (and still love). How can I be branded as a psycho case? If that was the case every person who suffers from the loss of a loved one through death or separation or otherwise should all be 'depressed'. How much farther from truth can you be?

If we lose someone we love, we'll feel it deep within us. It will hurt and unlike physical pain there is really no medicine. Unfortunately there is a group of individuals who prey on sufferers like this. They come in various shapes and sizes and call themselves fancy names, though I'd rather call them vultures.

These "mind-healers" diagnose you with 'depression', a word we are all familiar with. Instead of helping you identify and overcome the cause of your sadness they brand you depressed or psychotic, give the 'disease' a fancy name and pump you full of medicines that leave you drowsy, stuporous and muddle headed. 

The unfortunate thing about these medicines are that you become dependent on it. You feel the 'depression' taking you over if you don't take the medicines. What we don't realize is that it's a mind thing. 

The best medicine is our faith in ourselves. If we put our minds to it we can work around it. All it requires is a change in our mind sets.............and perhaps a good friend to help you along. Given time, any problem can be overcome.

Happiness is a state of mind. It cannot be purchased off the shelf like a medicine and most definitely anti-depressants or anti-psychotics are not the answer.

If we look within ourselves,  Happiness is there to be found. It's always a little difficult to get at, amidst all that clutter within ourselves, but it's definitely there.

We only need to be patient and keep searching.