(to be read after the previous post)
I've reached a point in life where I realize that the past cannot be remedied. The solution then is to straighten out the present and plan for the future.
Where do I start? Obviously, I need to take stock of my present situation. Knowing myself throughly will allow me to plan my future to accommodate my eccentricities.
Yes I'm eccentric, if you call 'commitment' as eccentricity, if you call the 'ability to love someone unconditionally' as eccentricity and above all if you call 'honesty' an eccentricity.
I have discovered that these characterestics make me unpopular and sometimes annoying to family and friends, but what the hell. This is the real me. Take it or leave it.
Then how does mid life crisis fit into this? Perhaps I've been taking life for granted for too long. Settling into a rut.....waking up at 6.00 AM and going through life mechanically perhaps dulled my senses and blunted my sensitivity to my surroundings. I thought I was a caring child to my elders, doting parent to children and a loving spouse. I failed to realize that needs change with time, children grow older and parents age and become burden.
One fine day life turns topsy-turvy. A healthy elder fell sick, having to be helped with every little thing from eating, bathing, changing clothes, cleaning up after toilet......everything. Problem was compounded when demetia worsened. Every day is a fight to keep her happy & in good health though I realize it will be downhill from here.
The spouse feels that there is no independance here and decided to find a new route in life. Single parenting is a whole new experience and I'm loving it. Takes a little getting used to childhood tantrums but it is fun.
This is the time in life that can make you or break you. Losing an emotional support (spouse) and having to handle a rigid and unreasonable elder & taking care of a child alone can take it's toll unless you find support.
What happens when you reach cross roads in your profession simultaneously.?
Now I'm on the threshold of expanding in the profession I'm in but my spouse decided to pack up. Suddenly I feel like Atlas, burdened with the world on my shoulder and very weary.
I confess; there have been moments I've thought of giving up everything and disappearing somewhere but as I mentioned earlier I'm too honest, committed and unconditional. I'd die of guilt if I gave up on people I love.
So I made up my mind to go ahead and move on. I'll tell that story in stages.......
.......and you, my reader, will come along with me on this Journey in Pursuit of Happiness.
Feel free to comment and guide me if you feel I'm going in the wrong direction. After all GPS isn't always perfect ;-)
I've reached a point in life where I realize that the past cannot be remedied. The solution then is to straighten out the present and plan for the future.
Where do I start? Obviously, I need to take stock of my present situation. Knowing myself throughly will allow me to plan my future to accommodate my eccentricities.
Yes I'm eccentric, if you call 'commitment' as eccentricity, if you call the 'ability to love someone unconditionally' as eccentricity and above all if you call 'honesty' an eccentricity.
I have discovered that these characterestics make me unpopular and sometimes annoying to family and friends, but what the hell. This is the real me. Take it or leave it.
Then how does mid life crisis fit into this? Perhaps I've been taking life for granted for too long. Settling into a rut.....waking up at 6.00 AM and going through life mechanically perhaps dulled my senses and blunted my sensitivity to my surroundings. I thought I was a caring child to my elders, doting parent to children and a loving spouse. I failed to realize that needs change with time, children grow older and parents age and become burden.
One fine day life turns topsy-turvy. A healthy elder fell sick, having to be helped with every little thing from eating, bathing, changing clothes, cleaning up after toilet......everything. Problem was compounded when demetia worsened. Every day is a fight to keep her happy & in good health though I realize it will be downhill from here.
The spouse feels that there is no independance here and decided to find a new route in life. Single parenting is a whole new experience and I'm loving it. Takes a little getting used to childhood tantrums but it is fun.
This is the time in life that can make you or break you. Losing an emotional support (spouse) and having to handle a rigid and unreasonable elder & taking care of a child alone can take it's toll unless you find support.
What happens when you reach cross roads in your profession simultaneously.?
Now I'm on the threshold of expanding in the profession I'm in but my spouse decided to pack up. Suddenly I feel like Atlas, burdened with the world on my shoulder and very weary.
I confess; there have been moments I've thought of giving up everything and disappearing somewhere but as I mentioned earlier I'm too honest, committed and unconditional. I'd die of guilt if I gave up on people I love.
So I made up my mind to go ahead and move on. I'll tell that story in stages.......
.......and you, my reader, will come along with me on this Journey in Pursuit of Happiness.
Feel free to comment and guide me if you feel I'm going in the wrong direction. After all GPS isn't always perfect ;-)
No comments:
Post a Comment