The foundation of any relationship, whether in a family, friends or lovers, is TRUST.
Trust does not come instantly. It has to come over a period of time and built block by little block. Very few people are untrustworthy. More often than not, people can be trusted almost in the first instance. The untrustworthy ones can be identified quite easily too. They tend to be very superficial in their statements and tend to contradict themselves frequently.
As for the rest of us, who seek to build a strong relationship; we are usually cautious. We sometimes lie to ourselves about little things just to convince ourselves that the other person is genuine. This may, in most cases be wrong. If we sense that the other person is lying, it is usually true that they are lying. We can 'sense' lies. Once these sensations become frequent it is better to slow down and think.
There is an article I read about how infants 'trust' other - Body language. Here is an excerpt, Try it and see if it works.
"RELEARNING HOW INFANTS MAKE DECISIONS
• Think about someone you trust completely because they always keep their word.
• While thinking about this person, "take a reading" of your body. Notice how you feel in your torso (shoulders to pelvis). To make sure you remember this sensation, write down a few words to describe it (e.g.-"warmth in my chest," "lighter in my stomach,")
• Practice making yourself feel this sensation over and over (about 10 times). Get so good at it that you can make the sensation happen with just a single thought.
• Now think about someone you do not trust because they seldom keep their word..
• Repeat step 2. (Notice the COMPLETELY DIFFERENT sensation.)
• Repeat step 3 (Practice this new feeling.)
• Now test your skill by thinking about some recent acquaintances. Take another "body reading" as you think about each of these people, one at a time. Compare these sensations with the sensations you remember from the person you trust, and then with the sensations you remember from the person you don't trust.
• Then simply ask yourself: "Do I trust these new people?"
The answer will come to you immediately, without further thinking, and without further testing or practice. You have reacquired a skill, and it will always be available for you."
Apply this steps when you meet someone next. If they seem eager to please be wary. There is nothing like a broken trust to keep you plunged in grief for a very long time. Especially if you have built a relationship over a period of time and you suddenly discover that your 'friend' was never really a friend at all.
When a relationship is genuine it builds up gradually and stays steady or becomes stronger each passing day. If the person who just walked into your life is not genuine, the relationship carries on in fits and jerks and eventually breaks down irreparably like a faulty car engine.
My friend the Stranger, is strangely silent......why?
Trust does not come instantly. It has to come over a period of time and built block by little block. Very few people are untrustworthy. More often than not, people can be trusted almost in the first instance. The untrustworthy ones can be identified quite easily too. They tend to be very superficial in their statements and tend to contradict themselves frequently.
As for the rest of us, who seek to build a strong relationship; we are usually cautious. We sometimes lie to ourselves about little things just to convince ourselves that the other person is genuine. This may, in most cases be wrong. If we sense that the other person is lying, it is usually true that they are lying. We can 'sense' lies. Once these sensations become frequent it is better to slow down and think.
There is an article I read about how infants 'trust' other - Body language. Here is an excerpt, Try it and see if it works.
"RELEARNING HOW INFANTS MAKE DECISIONS
• Think about someone you trust completely because they always keep their word.
• While thinking about this person, "take a reading" of your body. Notice how you feel in your torso (shoulders to pelvis). To make sure you remember this sensation, write down a few words to describe it (e.g.-"warmth in my chest," "lighter in my stomach,")
• Practice making yourself feel this sensation over and over (about 10 times). Get so good at it that you can make the sensation happen with just a single thought.
• Now think about someone you do not trust because they seldom keep their word..
• Repeat step 2. (Notice the COMPLETELY DIFFERENT sensation.)
• Repeat step 3 (Practice this new feeling.)
• Now test your skill by thinking about some recent acquaintances. Take another "body reading" as you think about each of these people, one at a time. Compare these sensations with the sensations you remember from the person you trust, and then with the sensations you remember from the person you don't trust.
• Then simply ask yourself: "Do I trust these new people?"
The answer will come to you immediately, without further thinking, and without further testing or practice. You have reacquired a skill, and it will always be available for you."
Apply this steps when you meet someone next. If they seem eager to please be wary. There is nothing like a broken trust to keep you plunged in grief for a very long time. Especially if you have built a relationship over a period of time and you suddenly discover that your 'friend' was never really a friend at all.
When a relationship is genuine it builds up gradually and stays steady or becomes stronger each passing day. If the person who just walked into your life is not genuine, the relationship carries on in fits and jerks and eventually breaks down irreparably like a faulty car engine.
My friend the Stranger, is strangely silent......why?
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